Re:

Mary Jane, a weed poem, mocking Robert Burns

Fri, 01/Sep/23

What would you do having an affection for poetry in your heart and a “purple haze” in your head? The combination of the two made us embark on a funny weed poem project. Eventually, we, the project team, tried our best to mimic Robert Burns, no less!

It resulted in a lovely devotion to marijuana in a form of a ballad, and you judge if it was good or not. The weed poem “The Heart of Mary Jane” we have baked is just below in this post. But we speak at first about Robert Burns, and why his poetry has attracted so much of our attention and influenced out work.

Who is Robert Burns?

Robert Burns was a ferocious Scottish alcoholic of the 18th century. He happened to be also a genius, who made a major contribution to the poetry of the Romantic Era, carved his name in stone in a hall of fame of arts, and reached immortality.

In his lyrics, Robert Burns expressed love, of course, and also his passion for freedom and Scotch whisky: “I love drinking now and then. It defecates the standing pool of thought.” – Awesome!

Freedom and whisky gang together

So does weed. Only a like-minded dude and a thoughtful person could state that “Freedom and whisky gang together”, we have realized. His attachment to Scotland and Scotch admires many men. After all, whisky and marijuana often coincide too, and we adore whisky (exceptionally single malt of course) the same as much as we love marijuana. Yet not simultaneously.

Do you know, that there is a Lowland single malt brand after his name, that all of Scotland would not celebrate a birthday of “some guy” voluntarily and every year for two centuries already and counting?

What is Robert Burns night?

On the 25th of January people joyfully gather together for getting desperately drunk on that day, quote and sing excerpts from his lyrics. Many Scots throw a Burns supper in the night. Grand affairs are also common throughout the country.

Burns’ shanties, poems, folk songs, and ballads constitute a fair part of tradition for such parties, where his epic masterpiece “Tam O’Shanter” takes a very special place during nation-wide buzz!

Tam O’Shanter poem by Robert Burns

Tam O’Shanter is our favorite narrative. It is about an enthusiastic drunkard Tam, who felt an erotic excitement (“stood, like one bewitched, and thought his very eyes enriched”) when hallucinated in the dark a charming witch Nannie Dee dancing. Either she was not a phantasm and Tam saw “the graceful dance of witches” for real. We choose she was real!

“Her cutty sark, o’ Paisley harn,
That while a lassie she had worn,
In longitude tho’ sorely scanty,
It was her best, and she was vauntie.
Ah! little kend thy reverend grannie
That sark she coft for her wee Nannie
Wi’ twa pund Scots (’twas a’ her riches)
Wad ever graced a dance of witches!”

The “Tam O’Shanter” ballad counts 1500+ words, which is huge for merely a poem. It is regarded to be philosophical in many ways. It contains a whole lot of historical information about everyday life in old Scotland, many proverbial sayings, and metaphors.

One of such is…

Well done, Cutty Sark!

The young witch has been wearing a far too short (cutty) linen chemise, where “sark” is a Scottish word standing for “chemise”. No surprise, poor Thomas became over-charmed with the erotic sight of dancing Nannie, then losing his control over emotion he shouted out “Well done, Cutty Sark” by that disclosing his location and barely escaped the chase in the end.

“Well done, Cutty Sark” subsequently became a catchphrase in the English language for expressing the emotion of extreme satisfaction and excitement, somewhat higher than merely a bravo. “Weel” is the Scots equivalent for “Well”, find it in this piece below:

“And how Tam stood, like ane bewitch’d,
And thought his very een [eyes] enrich’d;

Till first ae caper, syne anither,
Tam tint [lost] his reason a’ thegither,
And roars out, “Weel done, Cutty Sark!”
And in an instant all was dark:
And scarcely had he Maggie [his horse] rallied,
When out the hellish legion sallied.

Ah, Tam! Ah, Tam! Thou’ll get thy fairin’!
In hell they’ll roast thee like a herrin’!

Of course, none of Robert Burns’ poems could ever miss out on mentioning firewater effects:

“Inspiring bold John Barleycorn!
What dangers thou canst make us scorn!
Wi’ tippeny [ale], we fear nae evil!
Wi’ usquabae [whisky], we’ll face the devil!
The swats sae ream’d in Tammie’s noddle,
Fair play, he car’d na deils a boddle.”

John Barleycorn means whisky personified. The latter two lines are, roughly: “the buzz swarmed in Tam’s head and he cared not about the cash he was spending”. Ye-ah, man, we understand.

“No, wha this tale o’ truth shall read,
Ilk man and mother’s son take heed;
Whene’er to drink you are inclin’d,
Or cutty sarks run in your mind,
Think! ye may buy joys o’er dear –
Remember Tam O’Shanter’s mare.”

A destructive force of heavenly beauty, he’s said? Especially under influence of psychoactive compounds like alcohol, or, say, marijuana, he’s said? It’s okay, who cares!! 😜👍

The legendary British tea clipper “Cutty Sark” got named after Nannie Dee. She was the last and the fastest of the kind, busy carrying opium, hashish, and tea from China and India to Europe. The figurehead of the ship was a bare-breasted Nannie.

Robert Burns was a tough guy, we can see now. That is why he is our pick for parodying particularly his work for transforming it into a funny weed poem. But just we take the other of his glorious works, “John Barleycorn”!

John Barleycorn poem by Robert Burns

Yet another heartwarming poem by Robert Burns, “John Barleycorn”, is a complete devotion to whisky, again. This time old Rabbie used the imaginary suffering of John Barleycorn, a personified barley crop, to describe in every detail the process of the grain being cultivated and harvested, buried alive as seed, then “tortured” in the mill:

“They wasted, o’er a scorching flame,
The marrow of his bones.
But a miller us’d him worst of all,
For he crush’d him between two stones.”

Later they’ve got him sunk in water to become malt:

“They filled up a darksome pit
With water to the brim.
They heaved in John Barleycorn,
There let him sink or swim. ”

And, at the end of the hardship the “blood” of John Barleycorn is the world’s best alcoholic drink:

“And they hae taen his very heart’s blood,
And drank it round and round;
And still the more and more they drank,
Their joy did more abound.

John Barleycorn was a hero bold,
Of noble enterprise.
For if you do but taste his blood,
‘Twill make your courage rise.

‘Twill make a man forget his woe,
‘Twill heighten all his joy,
Twill make the widow’s heart to sing,
Tho’ the tear were in her eye.

Then let us toast John Barleycorn,
Each man a glass in hand,
And may his great posterity
Ne’er fail in old Scotland!”

Finally…

How did old Rabbie influence our weed poem?

John Barleycorn, the Rabbie’s genius prank, contrasted the suffering of barley (John Barleycorn) with bringing ultimate joy and courage to people at the end of the distillation enterprise.

That got us thinking to mimic the rhythm, the style, and the brilliant idea of Burns’ John Barleycorn in application to the personified marijuana seed. What a beautiful piece of art it would be, we decided and hit the road.

We have voted the personified marijuana is Mary Jane (how else?), and in our marijuana ballad, she survives the hardship of her life journey while she unwinds from seed to weed for us to smoke and for pleasure.

We have reached out to a poet, Brendon J. O’Brien from Trinidad and Tobago, to help us to fulfill the mission, and he has illustrated the humble life of Mary Jane in the following verse:

Mary Jane weed poem

“When Mary Jane had come of age,
Those ‘round her began to creep.
They plotted then to break her down
For some parts, they would keep.

They looked upon her cautiously
Saw her grow dark in sun.
When sweat did glisten on their eyes
They knew their wait was done.

They waited for the very time
That Mary seemed mature.
They grabbed her in the open field,
Held lightly but made sure.

They checked her well and were convinced
That Mary Jane had grown,
Was strong and sweet and swollen enough
For them to call their own

Before poor Mary Jane could move
They broke off her every limb
When that was done, they dragged her down
To a place much more grim.

Those men, they hung her bottom-up,
They left her there for days,
In the dry dark, till she might crack,
Till Mary’s light did fade.

They took her down, they pulled her close,
Took blade from head to shin
To cut whatever blemish clean,
Leave only Mary’s skin.

And from her skin came many things
When boiled and kept as drips,
Or ground up fine, and wrapped up tight,
And lit to someone’s lips.

Some men would use the girl’s remains
To hear some divine word.
Some others still took off her skin
Till awareness gleefully blurred.

Some look upon the men
Who did these things will such despair.
No one should use poor Mary’s heart
Those people would declare

But some need Mary’s heart
For much more urgent gain;
To calm their addled minds a while
Or free them from their pain.

From Mary’s sacrifice
Some people do regain control
From a sickness stealing bodies
Or worries claiming souls.

Some say what happened to the girl
Is vicious, inhumane.
But there are lives so surely changed
By the heart of Mary Jane.”

The End.

Did you know: the company who invented feminized seeds in 1990 (they were Dutch origin) is yet functions well as a company. As a seed bank, they produce and deliver feminized seeds. You can buy from them online.


Poems about weed and flowers

Thu, 02/Sep/21

Marijuana and creativity gang together, and many witness it. Stoner poets write poems about weed and flowers, pothead artists flood the internet with beautiful comics about marijuana, or under influence of marijuana, or both. So do graphic designers, software developers, game creators, sound engineers, “potcasters”, and every kind of creative folk.

“Weeds are flowers too”

Sadly, there is no reliable historical input about weed poets as long as marijuana has been beyond the “socially acceptable” for a while, thus some facts are yet hidden in the official records but unveiling slowly.

Thus, we do not know for sure what Edgar Poe and Lewis Carroll were taking, and we are unsure about Alan Alexander Milne, having his famous saying: “Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them.”

What we say, most funny weed poems are not yet great in numbers, which made us collect a few, including those we humbly rhymed by ourselves (being baked, of course) for your joy.

“Sinsemilla was her name” weed poem

SINSEMILLA was her name,

the bitch was hazy, drove men insane!

Or so they thought, these men of Grey,

whom never smoked a little hay.

But the fever’s come their way,

they try to kill her, everyday.

weed poem

But Sensimilia was her name,

she spoke of truth in every say.

And so the Grey, they tried their way,

but never manage her to slay.

Until one day, when she slipped up,

and then the Grey got her by the gut.

weed poem

And now her children’s with the Grey,

and they all smoke them every day.

And what they Grey, know not,

it’s of what kids, the woman got.

And now this day the Lion’s come,

upon a boat, straight from Zion.

weed poem

But SINSEMILLA is her name,

the bitch is hazy, drives you insane!

And now all smoke her every day,

and praise as medicine in every say.

While SINSEMILLA grows strong,

delivers good vibes to us all.

(c) Angrybud.com

The dramatic weed poem “Sinsemilla was her name” is the oldest piece in the collection, reminding us about the hardship in times of prohibition, and how the tide turned (Lion from Zion refers to Rastafari culture in this regard). You have noticed, of course, how carefully the author stresses the medical properties of marijuana, which has been legalized moments earlier than recreational cannabis. Yes, this one is that old.

“Maria Juana, your charms make inspire” weed poem

Maria Juana, your charms make inspire,

And capture my soul with care tho higher,

But ah! Can’t imagine how stupid was me:

Don’t know where’s the LIGHTER, but know where are we.

(c) Angrybud.com

The tiny funny weed verse “Maria Juana, your charms make inspire” happened to be a pure inspiration, resulting from a catastrophe as we have experienced the tragic loss of fire in the middle of the night. All ended well.

“When braving angry winter storms” weed poem

When braving angry winter storms,

The grimmest tent we raise,

Far in the shade my Gem will spend

Her first 12 hour night,

Away from eyes Eternal Light

Shall warm her body then,

The tyrant Death shall cut her roots,

When Amber says: she’s well.

(c) Angrybud.com

The heroic weed poem “When braving angry winter storms” is also a highly allegorical instruction (or a memo) on how to grow marijuana indoors, and how nature forces us to invest in equipment in a desperate attempt to have buds during a cold season. The “Amber” refers to the color of ripe trichomes, and the 12-hour night means a flowering photoperiod.

Are stoner artists already creative without weed?

Yes. THC is not an injection of intellect, nor of creativity, it only stimulates the existing capabilities of the brain of a weed artist, who tokes. Apparently, many creators meet a Muse and amusement while being sober, others pursue love affairs for the same purpose, but some prefer getting three sheets to the wind (for example, Robert Burns), and all of them produce wonderful artworks. Whatever makes us happy stimulates the existing abilities of the already-active brain, where creativity erupts from.

Does marijuana actually boost creativity?

Yes, it does. Marijuana boosts creativity, and this is a biochemical process affecting the brain. Chemical compounds in marijuana chemically stimulate both “happiness” and cognitive processes. Even though it is hard to measure creativity objectively, many agree that a happy gardener (who is also an artist if he is a good gardener) shall perform better rather than an unhappy one.

Is THC a magic pill making any dumb creative?

No. THC (in weed) is not a magic pill for gaining immediately the creative effects, that other people approach through the decades of continuous education. I mean all sorts of education, but not certificates. Creative people are usually over-educated, covering a few fields of knowledge, while the opposite people are not. THC does not work as a creative pill.